Tag: christian blog

A Bleeding Woman and a Dead Girl

Posted on by holyghostnotes in Book of Mark, Devotionals

Go ahead and spend a few minutes reading today’s section, Mark 5:21-43, so that rather than retelling the story, I can go straight to some meditations on these precious verses.  Here are nine applications from the story of Jairus’s daughter and the bleeding woman. 

1. Our Stories Are Connected

All our stories are connected.  The story of the healing of Jarius’s daughter is intertwined with the story of the healing of the bleeding woman.  This connection is made obvious with the mentioning of “twelve years” in both cases.  The little girl was twelve years old and the woman had been bleeding for twelve years.  Think about their lives, Jarius and his wife welcomed into the world a newborn baby and on the same day, in an unknown home, a woman began to bleed.  One family experienced joy and another fear.  Twelve years later, their paths would intersect, because both their stories were brought together by a need for Jesus.  

We are all connected, but not just in our brokenness, in our hope, also.  People today find it meaningful to recognize our connection as a suffering human race, but we are also connected to each other by what Jesus can do for us.  Your story is connected with someone on the other side of the planet, because Jesus can touch both of you.  The healing hands of Christ hold all the stories of the world together.  

2. Our Efforts Make Things Worse

Our efforts to repair our lives make things worse, not better, so we need to rely on the grace of God.  There was a bleeding woman, “who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse” (Mark 5:26).  The true story of the bleeding woman is also a parable to us about our ability to fix ourselves.  Nobody could heal the woman, no matter who they were.  Even though she spent everything she had, she was no better.  

Spiritually speaking, the same is true for you and me.  There are no people out there who can stop the bleeding in our lives.  And the harder we try, the worse things get.  Most of us know what it’s like to try our absolute hardest at something, only to see it get worse, not better.  Friedrich Nietzsche called human beings “the sick animal,” and I think this is what he meant by such a remarkable phrase.  Most of the time we know we’re sick, but the more we try to repair ourselves, the worse we become; and sometimes, we sabotage ourselves with pain in effort to heal ourselves of pain.  

3. We Need Faith

Faith, not more works, is what we need.  After the bleeding woman reached out and touched the garments of Jesus in order to get healed, Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease” (Mark 5:34).  Faith made her well, not more money.  Faith made her well, not more opportunities, better circumstances, a new job, different family, more friends, improved possessions, citizen rights, changed policies, and increased morality.  All these other things can be lumped together in the trash can called “good works.”  Yes, they are good, but they are not healing works.  They do not provide salvation from the human disease, they do not stop the spiritual bleeding, they do not help us sick animals to find meaning in life.  

In other words, nothing can take the place of God in our lives.  Even if you spend all the money in the world, you will never be able to do for yourself what God can do for you.  All the success and power you can accumulate in this world doesn’t compare with one touch of the bottom of Jesus’s garment.  A little of Jesus in your life goes a long way, much farther than the intelligence and resources of this world.  This is why faith, not more works, is what we need most.  And if faith is superior to works, then we owe it to ourselves (and those we love) to engage with activities of faith, such as prayer, meditation, partaking in the sacraments, hearing the gospel preached, Christian fellowship, and so forth.

4. Jesus Will Put the Solution out of Reach

Jesus will regularly put the solution out of reach, but that doesn’t mean he’s done working in our lives.  When Jarius first came to Jesus, his daughter was sick, but still alive.  “Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well and live” (Mark 5:23).  Jarius’s situation was absolutely desperate, so Jesus began to go to his home at once.  However, the situation wasn’t desperate enough, for Jesus knew things could get worse.  On the way to see the sick child, Jesus allowed himself to be interrupted and distracted by the bleeding woman.  He spent just enough time with the woman for further tragedy to strike at Jarius’s home.  

“There came from the ruler’s house some who said, ‘Your daughter is dead’” (Mark 5:35).  While we’ll never know for sure, it seems Jesus tarried long enough to turn a desperate situation into a hopeless one.  In fact, the man from Jarius’s house said, “Why trouble the Teacher any further?” (Mark 5:35), because the situation now was hopeless.  But there’s a lesson here for us to learn.  Whenever you hear yourself saying, “Why trouble God any more with this hopeless situation,” you may be right where God wants you to be.  Don’t give up yet, because God hasn’t given up yet.  

“But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, ‘Do not fear, only believe’” (Mark 5:36).  In terms of boxing, Jesus was not ready to throw in the towel, but wanted to go a few more rounds.  Be careful who you listen to, for there will be those voices in your life that say to you, “Don’t bother about this anymore, because it’s hopeless.”  In critical moments like these, turn your ear to Jesus and listen to what he says, instead.  Chances are, he’s still in the ring fighting for you.  “Do not fear, only believe.”

5. When Suffering, Be Careful about Who You Allow to Get Close

When times are really tough, be careful who you allow into your life.  Even though we’re told over and over again that there were great crowds of people tagging along, notice that Jesus only selected a few to walk with him into the suffering home.  “And he allowed no one to follow him except Peter and James and John…” (Mark 5:37).  As your suffering increases, your friends will decrease, for not everyone has what it takes to face a storm.  Peter, James, and John had what it took to walk with Jesus into the tragedy, but no more than this.  To tell the truth, you don’t want people in your life who can’t hack the pain and difficulty.  You want just a few tried and true friends to be with you when things are really tough.  

6. Allow Jesus to Believe for You

Allow Jesus to believe for you, when you find it hard to believe for yourself.  When Jesus entered the home of Jarius’s daughter, many family members and friends were “weeping and wailing loudly” (Mark 5:38).  Jesus said to them, “Why are you making a commotion and weeping?  The child is not dead but sleeping” (Mark 5:39).  The people laughed at him for saying this, because they knew she was dead (40).  They knew what they saw with their own eyes, heard with their own ears, and felt with their own hands: the little girl was dead.  They found it very hard to believe she was sleeping.  Now, here’s a lesson we’ve got to learn about suffering in life.  The suffering you observe is true, but the suffering Jesus observes is also true.  Yes, you are right, your life sucks, the pain is real, and there is no hope in sight, but guess what?  The things Jesus sees are also right: our pain is not final, but just a pause, like a night’s sleep.  Both are true.  

So when you can only believe the former, trust Jesus to believe the latter for you.  To be clear, Jesus believes in our healing and restoration to life, even when nobody else believes it’s possible for us.  Even when your dreams are dead, with Jesus in the room they are merely sleeping, waiting for him to wake them up.

7. Jesus’s Words Are More Powerful

Jesus’s words are more powerful than the forces of earth.  There’s no doubt that the forces of this world are very powerful, such as disease, nature, technology, and living creatures.  However, Jesus’s words are stronger than all these combined.  Death was strong, but Jesus’s words, “She is not dead but sleeping” were stronger.  And his words, “Talitha cumi” pried her from death’s seemingly impenetrable grip.  Just as a painter’s hand creates when it moves, so do Jesus’s words create when they sound.  If Jesus says, “You are forgiven, then” then a new reality is manifested, a new world is born.  The world changed when it received back the little girl from the dead, and so does our world change when Jesus brings you back to life, forgiven of your sins.  His words about you create a new reality, which no other words about you can erase or conquer.

8. Take Care of Your Miracle

Take care of your miracle.  After Jesus raised her from the dead, Jesus, “…strictly charged them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat” (Mark 5: 43).  When God gives you a gift, you are not off the hook, but you are responsible to care for it.  Jesus made her alive, but they had to keep her alive, by feeding her.  We often forget to take care of the wonderful gifts God gives to us, taking both them and him (God) for granted.  

9. God Can Make It Even Better

Finally, if you’re lucky, life will not work out the way you want, because God makes it even better.  Up until now, Jesus healed in just one way, by touching the sick.  But because of the crowd and fear of being known, the woman “discovered” a different kind of miracle, received by touching Jesus’s robe.  This was new, different, and unforgettable.  Disappointment and suffering birth a better version of you, forcing you to change course and see Jesus from a different vantage point in the crowd.  God loves to do new things, rather than repeat the same old kind of miracle or write the same kind of story.  Sometimes we need to know when to let go of our old dreams in order to let God give us new ones, for some dreams are twelve years in the making.  

The Breakdown

  1. Which of the above truths (found in the headings) stood out to you? Why? 
  2. What are some things we can do to move away from self-reliance and begin to rely more on God?
  3. Has God ever seemed to put the solution you needed out of reach?  What happened?  What did you learn about yourself?  About God?

Pastor, Please Stop Dissing Self-Help Books

Posted on by holyghostnotes in Ghost Writer

It was an ordinary Sunday.  There I was, sitting at church with my family, when the pastor went on a rant, blurting out a favorite string of four letter words: SELF HELP BOOK, intentionally pronouncing each word as if he were swearing.  He’d done this before, as have many preachers I have heard.  He’d just made a theological point that sounded convincing, paused, and then reached for the application, thinking it was a left-hook from out of nowhere, when, in fact, I could see it coming a mile away.  With finger pointed toward the heavens for emphasis, he prophesied, “…and that’s why the self-help section of the bookstore cannot help you!”  (Dramatic pause), “…because it teaches you to build your self-esteem, pat yourself on the back, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”  

I had heard it all before many times.  As I sat there with my kids, I wondered what they thought.  How was the pastor’s rant about self-help books received by my boys?  Or what about the struggling alcoholic in the congregation?  The porn addict?  The couple struggling to get a hold of their finances?  The anorexic woman?  It seemed to me that such a blanket statement about the self-help section of a bookstore was not only damaging, but fundamentally wrong.  Here are ten reasons why. 

1. It’s Lazy

First, it’s lazy.  Imagine you’re watching a marathon race.  Although you’ve never run more than two consecutive miles your whole life, you notice the running technique or gear of one of the marathon competitors, and you say, “Look at that idiot!  He shouldn’t be running!  That’s no way to run!”  But, the fact is, he’s actually running a marathon and will soon finish, while you aren’t.  So who are you to critique him?  I’ve got news for you, running a marathon is easier than writing and publishing a book.  So, pastor, until your name is on the spine of a book in the bookstore (and I don’t mean self-published!), then be careful when you criticize those whose names are.  It doesn’t make you look very good.

2. It’s Sends the Wrong Message to Our Kids

Second, it sends the wrong message to our kids, especially boys.  Boys struggle to ask for help, as it is.  Now you’re telling them that it’s wrong to try to help yourself?  Boys rarely read in the first place, and this just gives them another excuse not to read.  What if they struggle with porn, do you want them to keep away from a book like Gary Wilson’s Your Brain on Porn?  It’s in the self-help section, by the way.  Or maybe your daughter is struggling with being an introvert, should she shy away from Susan Cain’s groundbreaking book Quiet?  Also in the self-help section.  By degrading self-help books, we are discouraging our kids from admitting they need help and seeking it in a healthy way.  (Or perhaps they should just seek the advice of their peers on social media?—sarcasm intended.) Instead, they feel ashamed to ask for help and even more ashamed to rely on some of the wonderful, professional resources that are available to them.  Picture a teenage boy sneaking around in the bookstore, only he’s not trying to look at dirty magazines, but he’s trying to find a book on understanding his emotions from the self-help section(!).    

3. Taking Responsibility for Yourself Is Not a Bad Thing

Third, what’s so wrong with self-help, anyway?  What’s so wrong with trying to help yourself?  Since when is taking responsibility for yourself a bad thing?  The Bible constantly tells us to take responsibility for ourselves and put good habits into practice.  In fact, the entire book of Proverbs reads like a self-help book, arguably the best self-help book ever.  Are you suggesting we be irresponsible?  Don’t help ourselves, but wait for others to take care of us?  Just sit back and relax?  Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life has an entire chapter titled “Tell the Truth.”  Is that so misguided?  Another chapter is called, “Assume that the person you’re listening to might know something you don’t.”  That would be an appropriate chapter for some pastors to read.

4. We Need to Humble Ourselves

Fourth, we need to humble ourselves before the counsel of others.  Self-help books have the ability to catch our blindspots.  Typically, the authors are experts in their areas and have something worthwhile to say.  Are we too proud to listen?  Remember, if God can talk through an ass (Numbers 22), then surely he can talk through a self-help book!  I’ve found that God speaks to me through the most unlikely people and sources; God can even speak to us through our pain.  Don’t be too proud to listen to the counsel of others, no matter who they are.  

5. Don’t Overgeneralize

Fifth, before you make a blanket statement about self-help books, get a clue about them first!  What if I were to say, “All men are pigs” or “All pastors are swindlers?”  Obviously, it’s not true!  Think about your sweeping statements concerning self-help books.  Think about 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, would the world be a better place without it?  Obviously not, for it’s a wonderful and insightful book!  Another helpful book is The Life-Changing Habit of Tidying up by Marie Kondo.  One of my favorites is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, whose masterpiece self-help book was birthed from his time in a Jewish concentration camp.  Is this book bad, too?  Are you saying there’s no value in reading White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism, by Robin DiAngelo?  What kind of a message are we sending by denouncing this book in the self-help section?  Another wonderful book is When Breath Becomes Air by the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi, who wrote down his thoughts on what makes life worth living, just before he died as a young man.  This book is gold, not fools gold.  Other books to glean wisdom from are Whatcha Gonna Do with That Duck by Seth Godin, The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis, or 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke.  Here are two other life changing books, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw and Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen.  Dispense with these books at your own risk!

6. Discern Good and Bad Self-help Books

Sixth, just as there are useful and dreadful theology books, so there are good and bad self-help books, so don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater (if you’re tempted to, then get a copy of On Becoming Babywise by Robert Bucknam; you’ll find it in the self-help section).  I’ve heard about or read many terrible theology books, but I don’t, therefore, write off all theology books.  I don’t say to my friends, “Don’t go in the religion section at Barnes and Noble!”  Imagine telling an alcoholic to stay away from the classic Alcoholics Anonymous, just because it’s in the self-help department.

7. Teach Us to Read Responsibly

Seventh, rather than criticizing all self-help books, teach us to read responsibly instead.  If you have an issue with a certain self-help book, then tell your people about it specifically.  Tell us why.  Know the book you’re referring to, because you’ve read it, and provide an informed critique.  Don’t just blast all self-help books, as if you’ve read them all, for that would be disingenuous, not to mention arrogant.  Then go read David Brooks’s The Road to Character, which is in the self-help section. 

8. Beware of Presenting a False Dichotomy

Eighth, beware of presenting a false dichotomy between self-help reading and Bible reading.  Just because you read self-help books, doesn’t mean you can’t read the Bible, too!  In fact, the best practice is to read the Bible along with every other kind of book you read.  Compare your self-help book with the Bible.  How are they the same?  Where do they differ?  What light can a self-help book shed on the Bible and what light can the Bible shed on the self-help book?  Trust me, the Bible can hold its ground next to any self-help book.  The Bible is not threatened one bit, so stop acting like it is.  Don’t worry, pastor, long after all self-help books go out of print, the Bible will remain the number one bestseller of all time.  (To learn what a false dichotomy is, read Nathaniel Bluedorn’s The Fallacy Detective, a bestseller in the self-help section.)

9. Expose Yourself to Different Genres

Ninth, don’t underestimate the value of exposing yourself to different genres of books, such as self-help books.  Here’s a helpful analogy.  It greatly benefits a heavy metal drummer, for instance, to listen to jazz, gospel, or classical music!  To expose yourself to different genres doesn’t hinder your playing, but helps your playing.  The same is true with the various genres of books.  This is one of the reasons why the Bible contains so many different genres of writing, such as poetry, law, lament, wisdom, gospel, narrative, history, prophecy, personal letter, etc.  This is also why we should read fiction, history, poetry, essay, memoir, theology, technical, and even self-help books!  

10. The Goal Is Wholeness

Tenth, the goal of life is wholeness or integrity, rather than compartmentalization.  By restricting yourself to one department in the bookstore, you run the danger of “departmentalizing” your life.  Instead of allowing all the parts of yourself to work together, you’re shaming some parts and neglecting other parts.  This is a recipe for disaster.  We are commanded to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, not just one department of us.  Whenever we say something is “off limits,” we keep it outside our consciousness, rejected.  Just like Jonah couldn’t run away from his calling, but it came to the surface and swallowed him whole, so will the neglected parts of ourselves come back to devour us.  Blatantly to reject a whole area of life, in this case, self-help, rather than integrating it into your whole person, you run away from an opportunity for self-knowledge, self-examination, self-critique, and self-discovery.  In fact, the sixteenth century reformer John Calvin wrote in Institutes that unless we know ourselves, then we cannot know God.  You see, there is a truth to the cliche, “That person is so heavenly minded that he’s no earthly good.”  And to think there’s not proves the point.  

To conclude, I’m not suggesting a church should preach self-help, for the church must preach the biblical gospel.  However, there’s no reason why a pastor cannot use self-help books to point to the gospel, help people understand themselves, and give additional resources to deal with the complexities of life.